Strategies that work 70% of the Time in my Montessori Classroom.
I want to emphasize that, in my experience, tantrums present the best opportunity to establish a connection with the children under my care. I view this as the prime moment to demostrate my genuine concern and support in helping them overcome feelings of frustration, sadness, and anger. Allow me to share the approach I find effective, as it provides the child with the time and validation needed to calm dowm.
Tip #1 - Approach the child at level with intention
Upon recognizing a child experiencing significant frustration, I approach them directly and ask different questions, such as "oh no! what happened" or "Sweetie, are you okay? This demonstrates genuine compassion and interest from my end.
Tip #2 - Invite the child to a peaceful area
We maintain a peaceful area with relaxing toys that prove invaluable during moments of frustration for the children. Gently, I offer the child comfort, saying, "Sweetie, do you need a hug?, would you lile to go to the peace area?". I aim to minimize excessive talking to avoid escalating the child's emotions. If the child resists moving to the peaceful area, that's ok. I remain with them, ensuring that other children are not distracted and maintaining focus on the child need.
"Peace is what every human being is craving for, and it can be brought about by humanity through the child" – Maria Montessori
Tip #3 - Lets sing a song! This is the GOLDEN TIME.
I am a firm believer in and witness to the power of a positive approach. That's why it is very important for me to help children calm dowm by singing. I enjoy singing a song that I know they are familiar with. If not, I'll opt for "baby shark" or "The wheels on the Bus". Even if the child is still very upset, I sing the song quietly, ensuring the child can hear me. All they want is to sing! I just need to show them that I am not singing to help them regain control, but because I genuinely like the song. After a short while, they start to relax and join in singing with me.
Tip #4 - Re-establising a connection the child
I gradually stop singing and initiate a conversation with the child about the song. "I love this song, do you? I know it has animals or loud sounds sometimes, and that's why I love it! By doing so, I aim to re-establish a connection in order to discuss what happened.
Tip #5 - We talked about feelings and how to handle them.
I inquire about the child's feelings, asking "were you feeling angry or sad"? I express empathy by saying, "Oh, I am sorry you felt that way. I felt sad yesterday, but today I feel happy, and I hope you do too." I then ask the child why the situation ocurred and always ensure that the child understands that I comprehend their perspective. For example, "Yes, he took the materialfrom your hands. Maybe your friend should ask first, right? Do you think he is a big boy or a little boy? I think he is still little, and since you and I are bigger, we need to be very patient with him. If it happens again, what should we do? Should w teach him to use his words, or what do you think?" This part can be a little complex because each situation is unique, but I hope you understand the approach I've been trying to explain you.
We remained calm and controlled the situation - Yay!
Then, I invite the child to return to their friends and continue engaging in a fun Montessori activity at our preschool.
I hope this technique proves effective at home, or in your preschool, daycare, or school. I will continue to share more successful strategies that cultivate a sense of love, importancce and care for the children in my class.
Paola J.
ECE Montessori Credentialed Teacher.
Koala Tree Montessori
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